I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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