there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
