worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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