i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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