I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
