evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
