After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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