I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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