I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
