I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
