So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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