it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
