Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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