He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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