Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My bed smells like the plague
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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