there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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