Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
