meet me or not, i'm out of control
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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