My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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