Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My dick has a subreddit
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize