so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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