ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
