Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
