I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
