Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Randomize
