you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
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She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
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I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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