Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
There's always time for handjobs
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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