I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
