Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
