My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
