There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
