I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
