Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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