Non-Jews are for practice
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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