so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
