there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
