Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
