yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
