remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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