Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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