Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
