Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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