Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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