I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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