He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
