that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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