Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
