is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
