He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
