I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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