erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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