i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
