Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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