Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
