Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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