oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
