Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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