I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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