if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
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