haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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