I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
