I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
