There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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