There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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